it's time

So, I really shouldn't be here, at this moment, sitting on my computer blogging. Today is the day that he leaves. He was supposed to be home 35 minutes ago to pick us up. He had to be at work at 6am to go through rooms at the barracks so he figured he'd let the kids sleep a bit longer and he'd come back to get us later in the morning. I haven't heard from him at all. I tried not to be "that wife" and text him the minute he was late, but when 8am finally rolled around I had to. I've been feeling the need to puke since I got the girl up and dressed. I went into her room to find her already in the process of waking up. As soon as she saw me peer over the rail of her crib she smiled her sweet smile. The she stretched and just looked oh-so-precious. So innocent and unknowing of the events that today holds for our family. A few tears came to my eyes and I tried my hardest to not go into full-blown blubbering fool mode. Thankfully I've only reached that point once so far and that was after a few drinks.

So, I've been pacing and nitpicking. I needed something to occupy my hands so I started to surf the internet. Then I figured I would blog quick. Hoping also that he would open the door the minute I started writing. Of course that didn't happen. The kids are now growing restless and tired of waiting to get there to wait. They are watching tv, having given up on playing their gameboys for the moment.

I'm beginning to wonder if I'm dreaming and I'll soon wake up to the alarm on my phone blaring "Boom Boom Pow" and I'll have to relive all the emotions over again.